When You Say NO, the World Gets Smaller (for better or worse)

1 02 2012

A month or so ago I went solo to see The Descendents. It was literally the first time I didn’t have ANYTHING to do in a while, so I figured I’d to do some wandering to put myself outside of my usual NYC experience (which is usually limited to lower Manhattan, Upper Brooklyn, and culinary trip to Queens) and go to the Upper West Side. I realized through George Clooney’s character that he had trouble adapting outside of his way of doing/experiencing things and that part of me was the same way.

I’ve been fairly extreme throughout my life in regards to how/when I open and close the door to experience. Recently, I’ve gotten conformable and had a tight grasp on an understanding of who I think I am and am fairly blunt as whether or not something new would fit into that perception of myself. The fact remains, when you say NO to something, the world gets smaller until all you have left is a box to fit something into, which is why I’ve been trying make more efforts towards saying YES to something and taking more of a chance.

After the movie, I explored the Upper West Side. I was hungry and frustrated, yet I refused to “settle” on a brunch place. Settle meaning go to someplace outside of my usual preference of amazing, cheapish, and without a wait. While I was walking around, I envisioned a place that I’d go to for a brunch in Brooklyn on a typical weekend, which is the wrong way to go about it. I said YES to a new area, but was saying NO to accepting it for what it was.

I realized that part of traveling (for me the UWS is a distant far off land) is absorbing the culture, so I snapped out of it and settled on a bakery called Cafe Lalo(which I mistakenly thought was pronounced lay-lo instead of lah-lo). Had I not pushed myself to adapt to the area, I probably would have gotten fed up and gone to some place that would have been awful or gone back to Williamsburg for a bagel.

In life, you’re always going to be out of your comfort zone, so you always have to find ways to adapt and say YES to something new. Saying YES opens the world up more to new possibilities you might not have known existed.





Why can’t I be as happy as Levon Helm?

30 01 2012

A little back story on the seemingly random title. A few months ago, I went back to Tarrytown Music Hall with my friend Dominick to see Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings. For some random reason, this afternoon I wondered who was upcoming at the venue and noticed two nights with Levon Helm Band. Please note: there’s no way around the fact that The Band is one of the most important American bands ever. That inevitably lead to me looking at old and new videos on YouTube until finally stumbling on the one below.

Levon posses this unique quality of positivity with an understanding how the real world works. “Nothing’s a guarantee. It’s the old one day at a time.”

Yesterday in a cab to the lower east with my girlfriend, I was addressing my first world problems. For a second, I had to step back and have a laugh. I find the humor the ups and the downs that I face each day. Only now can I laugh even harder realizing my ridiculousness (as in the “absurd” definition of the word).

Having more clarity, I can acknowledge that my life ain’t that bad. I’ve never had cancer and I’m damn sure that I was never close to being stripped of doing what makes me happy or what makes me a living (which were one in the same for Levon). Only if could be as happy and appreciative of life as Levon.





Oh, the Places You’ll Go at Burning Man

10 01 2012

Saw this on a friend’s Facebook wall over the weekend and thought I’d share. I’ve always considered myself a fan of Dr. Seuss, but haven’t read this particular book since I was a kid. You can also read the entire text here.

With the New Year and my birthday practically overlapping, it’s hard to ignore existential questions from clouding my thoughts and dreams surrounding the first few weeks of the year.

Seeing this video in particular, I must ask myself where I want to go physically (travel), professionally (career-wise), and mentally (insight into myself and life itself).

I need to decide which direction I will steer then get on my way. It might just be Burning Man





So it’s 2012

3 01 2012

In high school and college I went to the gym a lot.  I would always find it annoying at the beginning of the year to see an influx of people at the gym making it take almost double the amount of time to finish my workout.  After two or three weeks, it would go back to normal (which was both relieving and humorous at the same time) thus proving my theory of New Years Syndrome.  People expect drastic changes without the necessary effort.

I find a lot of people give up on their ideas, goals, and dreams very easily.  This isn’t necessarily pessimistic.  It’s harder than one would think to lose weight (to continue on the analogy I started the post with), save enough money to take a much needed vacation, find a significant other, get a new job, quit smoking, read a book a week, habitually write a blog, or make your hobby your occupation (not implying I need any of these).  Planning and executing on these things takes a certain caliber of person.  This person is dedicated as well as must make sacrifices and make time (sleep, personal relationships, and work are usually the first to slip).

By nature, people try to maintain habits, so when you try to introduce something new, you need to try even harder to break your current habits and create a whole new pattern.  One of my oldest and bests friends was a drug addict.  Every couple times I saw him, I would ask him, “do you abstain from drugs because you think you shouldn’t take them or because you actually don’t need them?”  It took him about 10 months for him to answer with the latter response (after relapsing once early on).  I’m not trying to say that executing on your “New Years Resolutions” are on the same par as staying sober, but rather than breaking your old daily habits to make time for the new takes more than telling yourself once on January 1 that you wish you could ________.

The other thing is that NYR are often completely unrealistic.  There is a HUGE difference between long and short term (and even defining long and short can be a debate in and of itself).  Expecting to lose 20 pounds, get a movie deal, be featured in an art gallery, own a restaurant, or sell out Bowery Ballroom without proper understanding of what that means is naive, ignorant, and irrational.  People need to learn to be their own Project Manager, so they can plan better.  There will always be a certain level of doubt along the way, but the risk is always the scariest or can be the most exciting if you trust yourself.  All this is easier said than done, but that goes without saying.  This isn’t easy, which goes towards my main point to begin with.

So it’s 2012.  What do you want to do different?  What are you going to do to make constructive steps towards making sure that begins to come to reality at a realistic pace…and making sure you stick with it.





Looking for the details

5 12 2011

Sometimes I find myself taking things on first view without inspection instead of asking questions or looking for details that don’t present themselves initially.  It’s lazy and worsens one’s ability to be critical.

When I was cleaning out my grandmother’s apartment in Philly with my mom and sister, my sister found this old picture with musicians performing.  It was very “me” to say the least, so I brought it back to Brooklyn with me.

Flash forward a couple weeks.  I went on an overnight trip to Philly with my roommate Paul to see Ryan Adams.  We stayed at my parent’s house and when my mom asked what he thought of the picture, it dawned on me that he hadn’t seen it yet since we have conflicting schedules.  When we got back to the apartment I showed him the picture and he asked if I knew anything about it.

It reignited my desire to find out more details, so I googled “Sam Ashkynase Conductor” because they were the only words that we easily legible on the band sign in the picture.  The first thing that came up was Sam Ash’s wiki page.  For those who don’t know, Sam Ash Music is one of the most successful music instrument retail chains in the country.  This led me to 3 theories on why my grandparents had this picture:

  1. I had a family member in the band.
  2. I’m related to Sam Ash somehow.
  3. Sam Ash’s family were friends with my grandfather’s family (both of Austria-Hungarian descent)

Paul, interested in helping me out, tracked down one of the current top execs at Sam Ash Music (via Linked In).  He then figured out the email address formats for Sam Ash employees (ie first.last@company.com), so I contacted what I thought to be the email address for that exec (it thankfully didn’t bounce back). Concurrently, I emailed my parents, sister, uncle, and cousins to let them know about this, to which my mom replied that either of them could be theoretically possible since my great grandfather moved from Austria to New York City.

As of now, I’m still waiting on a response from Sam Ash, but it boggles me what one picture, pushing myself to look for the details, and investigating further can do.  It’s about the picture, but it’s not at the same time because there’s a pleasure in finding things out…Richard Feyman would agree.

UPDATE:  I got a response from Sam Ash Music and should be meeting with them soon





I suffer from a minor case of time urgency

31 05 2011

I have a problem.  The problem is called time urgency.  It goes beyond impatience, ADHD, and high stress anxiety.  It’s an addiction that’s detrimental to one’s health.  The worst part is that it could have been prevented and it can be stopped.

The constant need to check the phone.  To respond to an email.  To constantly be doing things.   All this leads to an extreme mismanagement of time.

People with time urgency dive into a task without planning and often are looking at what they have to do next before they’re done their current task.  They’re constantly overwhelmed without knowing where to start.

What happens is that people train their minds into embracing the illusion that action is productivity, so people with time urgency are always active doing something, regardless if what they’re doing is productive.  It could be wasting time online, allowing themselves to be pulled in multiple directions, compulsively check and respond to email, or just not being focused enough to correctly fulfill.

For me, my best deterrent of time urgency is planning.  I’m not a planner, but making many many many mistakes as a tour manager has forced this upon me even today to this day as I work in social media advertising.  And the more you give yourself slack with this work ethic, the easier you are to give it up completely, so it’s important to stick with it. I keep small notebooks of to do lists and meeting notes.  Aside from having written reminders, writing things down makes the task at hand mentally stronger.

So drop $5 on a pen and small notebook and give it a try.  If you fail, feel free to email me and I’ll try give you some more specific suggestions.





iPhone Pictural Guide of Seattle (aka my first vacation in 2 years)

27 05 2011

I just got back from Seattle where I spent most of my time eating and walking, like any good vacation. The trip started off in Union, Washington for my girlfriend’s college friends’ wedding.  Union was out there about 100 miles outside the city, which was exactly what I needed after 2 years of straight grind and no vacation.  Fresh air.  Fresh seafood.  Tasty local microbrews–I even tried a sample of a beer around 9am at brunch…waiter’s idea, not mine.

Food and Drink:

The pics below were all taken with my iPhone (using Camera+) and include hiking, eating, drinking, Pike Place Market, Underground Tour, Experience Music Project, and wondering around town.

http://www.flickr.com/apps/slideshow/show.swf?v=71649








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